A friend told me,
"You should not live in the past for you can't undo what is done. You should not live in the future for you don't know what will happen and it will only make you anxious. YOU SHOULD LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND LET IT BE WHAT HAPPENED NOW".
The PAST
I mentioned to my sis, I studied four years in a secondary school mattered. In order to keep, you must maintain the cut off grades with all the subjects. Most of my classmates and schoolmates were well off. Everyday then, I couldn't wait to grow up and be where I am now. I always reminded myself, I will never be poor. Indeed, in spite of my childish ways, I am ambitious and feared of errors. I believed that a rich husband won't be my passport to wealth. But, it is my skills, talents and wisdom that will bring me fortune.
Yet, my problem was I am not competitive and not a show off. I only kept them to myself because others were always better in many ways.
The FUTURE
I always wanted a beautiful crib and run my own business. I wanted to have lots of savings for my old age. Yeah, it's all about me. Thus, I cried aloud when my first job as a secretary didn't pay well.
Then, I decided to teach. A very special friend whom I met in my previous school told me, being a teacher wouldn't bring me any wealth. He even questioned, 'why you just I be an engineer?' I answered him, 'my career path led me here, so I should do my best'.
No earnings went to me or to my dreams. So, I worried not having my place. I am always anxious, writing down my computations of how much money do I need for it.
I am afraid to lose everything what I have started. I don't waste my money on travels. I love clothes and other stuff but I always buy those marked down prices, never new arrivals.
I want a secure future, which I owe to no one. If ever, I'll settle down, my family will never be deprived and no one will look down at them.
The PRESENT
What happen now? I have no money and just slacking at home. I hate the idea of relying to my sis for survival. I tried my best but there are things ought to happen that is out of my control. I disheartened just now. How can I fix things? Will they let me lose my dreams? I don't know how to make an appeal to convince them. Just another try and may the Holy Spirit enlighten those stubborn hearts.
I don't want to lose everything I have started. I want to smile again and determine to reach my goals with God's grace and guidance.
God always provides. Come what may... Tomorrow will come...
