What can I do if I befriended with the opposite gender with whatever age, educational background and status? None of them are alike papa because my father is one of a kind in his ways. Whoever they are, all of them are imperfect in their ways. I am so fed up of questioning, following the rules and be guided by the standards. Where all my obedience leads me? Here, scribbling this post alone and uncertain with how tomorrow will turn out.
Two months, the routine I am used to changed. As if I am locked up, not out there under the heat of the sun. Was it worth it? I don't want to recall the faces already gone in my present time. Did I let go because I am afraid of what people think? Was it because I couldn't risk for I used not to be weak and so proud of myself?
All of them are unique in their ways. They were not someone, I just imagined. Most of them were my good friends. They liked me as a good and skillful person. Yet, I admired them but I never needed them to attain my goals. I always want to do it all by myself like so many great women in history. I chose not to be dependent and believe there's more of being a woman.
Thus, I prayed to God teach me how to give, share, trust and love. If it is meant for me, lead him the way to my heart. I am not particular, God knows him so well...
